Do I Really Trust You, Lord?

It's easy to say we trust Him when all is well, but...

I had a very interesting experience yesterday. Every Wednesday morning for the last 4 months or so, I have been attending a women's bible study group at our church. Every week I drop Lily off at the nursery where she plays with about 3 or 4 other kids her age. I then leave the nursery and walk across the parking lot to the building where our study is held. Each morning begins with the usual chit-chat amongst the ladies as we load up our plates with whatever food has been brought and fill up our coffee mugs and prepare for what God has in store for us that day. This day started just like every other, except it was the last meeting before the summer break. We had our morning announcements, then sang some wonderful hymns to prepare our hearts for worship. As the music ended and we took our seats, the speaker for the morning walked up to the microphone and asked in a very calm and sure voice, "Who is in control?" Of course we all answered with a resounding, "God!". She asked again, "Do you really believe that?". We answered again, even louder, "YES!" Then she announced that she had just been informed there was criminal activity outside of the church and we were under lock down. My heart stopped. I had been under lock down before at the school where I worked, but I never really thought much of it then. It usually never lasted long and nothing ever came of it. However, I was not a mother at the time with my child in another building across the parking lot from where I was. I had never felt so far away from my baby. My mind raced to the moment I dropped Lily off. She was crying. How could I have left her there crying and now this? (Like I could have known!) What if something happens to her, or to me? I could hear the helicopter circling overhead, and the clanging sounds of the gates to the campus being closed. Then I took a breath. "Lord, do I really trust in You? You have brought me through so much to this exact moment. You have answered so many prayers and been so faithful to me. How could I not trust You now? Of course I trust You. Whatever happens, it will be okay because you are a holy God who has promised to never leave me or forsake me. I do trust You." I was suddenly filled with perfect peace. I rested in the knowledge that God is so much bigger than whatever was happening outside. Several minutes later, someone came in and gave the all clear. We thanked God and went on with our study. Afterwards I stayed to help clean up, said my good-byes to the ladies, loaded up my stuff in the car and went to get my daughter. I walked in to the nursery and saw her running around, laughing and happy. I picked her up and hugged her a little tighter that day.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4: 6-7